The Lovely Rima Sukhadia
Rima Sukhadia can be a lovely human being.
Speaking from my own experiences, I have seen her…
- find adventurous and exciting activities to enjoy and to share
- be the most understanding person I’ve met, seeing good intentions even in things that end poorly
- turn even a small accident or delay into something special
- perceptively identify people’s desires, wants, and needs
- go out of her way to help the people around her
- take risks for the things she loves
- pursue her passions without hesitation
and much more. She is delightful, even magical.
Ghosted
In my experience, unfortunately, months after getting into a romantic relationship with her there was a gradual but dramatic change in behavior. The situation we were in was challenging for both of us, so hopefully others will not have the same difficulties or experience the same issues.
That said, after about two years together I woke up one morning to find something very disturbing. She left me a nasty note around 2am the night before, filled with lies and accusations that were in many cases obviously false.
Because of how blatant it was and her past behavior, I suspect she was just trying to hurt me and didn’t even believe what she was writing. It was clear she was upset about something and that she’d be unavailable for two days, but was planning on connecting back after that. It was unclear at the time that she had actually left our relationship.
I slowly learned that she had just completely ghosted me, never to return.
No hug. No explanation. No clarity that she was breaking up. No opportunity to say goodbye. No respect for someone she claimed to love and spent years with. She just slinked away in the middle of the night without any opportunity to communicate, blocking me everywhere and ghosting me unexpectedly.
Help
Being with Rima can be amazing. It can also be traumatizing.
In my understanding of my own experience, Rima would often appear to be performing some test in secret, and then claim I failed and share some consequence. It often took the form of some wonderful thing she allegedly planned for us, but which was only disclosed after revoked.
In other words, at least to the extent these plans were real, most of the doors she walked through were one-way doors and there was not open discussion of it in advance.
It may be helpful for someone else in a similar situation to have a heads-up about some of these issues that may arise and how to navigate them. If you’re in a relationship with Rima, I encourage you to reach out, especially if you encounter any of the following behaviors:
- being isolated from your friends
- being told you “gave up” or “don’t care” if you respect her boundaries when she asks for space
- being told you’re “disrespectful” or “a crazy person” if you follow her description of what she would do in such a circumstance as someone who truly cares for you
- never getting her to take responsibility for doing anything wrong or hurtful
- being expected to read her mind and know what she wants at all times without communication
- communication is primarily unidirectional
- experiencing claims of having “alternative facts” or other forms of gaslighting
- you are accused of being a narcissist or compared to allegedly narcissistic exes
- being required to share everything while receiving very little information
- being confused by the contrast between extreme empathy for others and nastiness towards you
If you experience these or related issues and are trying to work through it, especially given the one-way door issue, I encourage you to reach out. I may be able to share some things privately that could help you navigate the issues. I would genuinely like to help. It can be a traumatizing experience and while unsuccessful, I learned some things that helped along the way.
Alternatively, seeing as how that sort of reach out is odd, it might be a good idea to reach out to a mental health professional.
I hope you are able to find a way to experience the joys of a healthy relationship with Rima, and that you are able to find happiness. Best wishes!